Season 1
0x01 Roasting on an Open Fire

등장인물

 


Marge Simpson

심슨 가족을 이끌어 나가는 주인공 캐릭터 중의 한 명. 호머 심슨의 아내로서 심슨 가족의 정신적 지주이자, Lisa와 함께 심슨 가족 전체에서 찾아보기 힘든 제정신을 가진 등장 인물 중의 한 명.

 


Homer Simpson


심슨 가족을 이끌어 나가는 주인공 캐릭터 중의 한 명
. 마지 심슨의 남편이자 바트 심슨과 리사 심슨, 매기 심슨의 아빠로서, 덜 떨어진 심슨 가족의 등장 인물 중에서도 명불 허전급의 덜떨어짐을 자랑함

 


Norman


호머와 마지
, 매기가 스프링필트 학교 발표회에서 공연 중에 자리를 찾아가는 도중 호머가 말을 거는 등장인물중의 한 명. 대사는 없음.

 


Seymour Skinner


바트와 리사가 다니는 스프링필드 초등학교의 교장 선생님

 

German Boy

스프링필드 학예회에서 독일의 크리스마스를 소개하는 소년

 


Hotseiosa

스프링필드 학예회에서 일본의 크리스마스를 소개하는 소년

 


Patty Bouvier


마지 심슨의 언니
. 호머를 싫어하며, 동생  셀마와 함께 세상에 무서울 것이 없는 바트가 두려워하는 인물

 


Ned Flanders


호머의 옆집에 사는 바른 생활 사나이
.

 


Tattoo Guy


바트에게 문신을 해주는 문신 샵의 태투 엔지니어
. 압권은 다음 대사.

TATTOO GUY: Wait a minute. How old are you?

BART: Twenty-one, sir.

TATTOO GUY: Get in the chair.

 


Waylon Smithers

호머가 일하는 원자력 발전소 사장의 개인 비서. 진심으로 사장인 MR.BARNS를 사랑하고 있는 듯함

 


Charles Montgomery Burns


호머가 일하는 원자력 발전소의 사장

 


Dr.Zotpfsky

바트의 팔에 새겨진
“Mother” 문신을 레이저로 없애주는 의사.

“you don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin.”

 


Todd Flanders

심슨 가족의 옆집에 사는 Ned Flanders의 아들로서, 역시 바른 생활 소년

 


Moe Szyslak

호머가 자주 가는 스프링필의 술집 “MOE”의 사장이자 바텐더

 


Barney Gumble

호머의 베스트 프랜드로서, 맥주를 사랑하는 백수이자 노총각. 호머만큼 덜 떨어짐.

 


Santa Clause Manager

호머가 아르바이트 하려 하는 쇼핑몰의 산타크루즈 관리 매니저.

 


Santa Clause Teacher

산타크루즈 강사

 


Selma
Bouvier

마지 심슨의 언니. 패티와 쌍둥이. 호머를 싫어하며, 언니 패티와 함께 세상에 무서울 것이 없는 바트가 두려워하는 인물

 


Kid 1

쇼핑몰에 산타크루즈를 보러 왔다가 호머 산타에게 안기는 불운한 아이

 


Milhouse van Houten

바트의 베스트 프렌드. 리사를 짝사랑함

 


Lewis

바트의 학교 친구

 


Kid 2

쇼핑몰에 산타크루즈를 보러 왔다가 호머 산타에게 안기는 불운한 아이

 


Casher

호머에게 아르바이트 임금 $13를 지급하는 냉정한 쇼핑몰 직원.

 


Abraham Simpson

호머의 아버지이자 바트, 리사의 할아버지.

 


Kid

개 경주장에서 지나가는 아이

 


Daddy of Kid

개 경주장에서 지나가는 아이의 아버지

 


Daria

개 경주장에서 돈을 딴 바니에게 꼬임당한 아가씨

 


Santa’s Little Helper

심슨 가족이 키우는 개. 개 경주장에서 처음 만남

 


Owner of Santa’s Little Helper

Santa’s Little Helper의 원래 주인


Script
1x01
Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (The Simpsons Christmas Special)

MARGE
Ooh! Careful, Homer!

HOMER
There's no time. We're late.

THE CHILDREN CHORUS
(Sing)O little town of Bethlehem, O little town of Bethlehem, How still we see the elie

MARGE
Sorry, Excuse me. Pardon me.

HOMER
Hey, Norman, how's it goin'? So you got dragged down here, too, huh? How you doin', Fred?

MARGE
Sorry. Excuse me.

HOMER
Yeah. 'Scuse me. Oh! Pardon my galoshes. Hi hi hi

THE CHILDREN CHORUS
(Sing) Are met in thee tonight

PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Wasn't that wonderful? And now "Santas of many lands," as presented by the entire second grade class.

MARGE
Oh! Lisa's class.

BOY
“Frohliche Weihnachten.” That's German for "Merry Christmas." In Germany, Santa's servant Ruprecht gives presents to good children and whipping rods to the parents of bad ones.

HOTSEIOSA
Merry Kurisumasu. I am Hotseiosha, a japanese priest who acts like Santa Claus. I have eyes in the back of my head so children better behave when I'm nearby.

ANNOUNCER
Now presenting Lisa Simpson as Tawanga the Santa Claus of the South Seas.

HOMER
Ooh, it's Lisa! That's ours.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Ah, the fourth grade will now favor us with a melody--
Uh, medley of holiday "flavorites."

THE CHILDREN CHORUS
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way Ha ha ha
Bells on bobtail ring

MARGE
Isn't Bart sweet, Homer? He sings like an angel.

BART
(Sing)Oh, jingle bells Batman smells
(Sing)Robin laid an egg
(Sing)The Batmobile broke its wheel
(Sing)The joker got awa—

THE CHILDREN CHORUS
Jingle bells Jingle bells
Jingle all

PRINCIPAL SKINNER
The fifth grade will now favour us with a scene from Charles, uh, Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

HOMER
How many grades does this school have?

MARGE
"Dear friends of the Simpson family, We had some sadness and some gladness this year. First, the sadness. Our little cat Snowball was unexpectedly run over and went to kitty heaven. But we bought a new little cat, Snowball So I guess life goes on. Speaking of life going on, Grandpa's still with us, feisty as ever. Maggie is walking by herself, Lisa got straight A's, and Bart-- Well, we love Bart. The magic of the season has touched us all.”

HOMER
Marge, haven't you finished that stupid letter yet?

MARGE
"Homer sends his love. Happy holidays. Marge! - The Simpsons."

HOMER
Marge, where's the extension cord?

MARGE
For heaven's sake, Homer. It's in the utility drawer.

HOMER
Sorry. I'm just a big kid. And I love Christmas so much.
D'oh!

MARGE
All right, children, let me have those letters. I'll send them to Santa's workshop at the North Pole.

BART
Oh, please. There's only one fat guy that brings us presents, and his name ain't Santa.

MARGE
Uh-- A pony? Oh, Lisa, you've asked for that for the last three years, and I keep telling you Santa can't fit a pony into his sleigh. Can't you take a hint?

LISA
But I really want a pony, and I've been really good this year.

MARGE
Oh, dear. Maybe Bart is a little more realistic.
A tattoo?

HOMER
A what?

BART
Yeah! They're cool, and they last the rest of your life.

MARGE
you will not be getting a tattoo for Christmas.

HOMER
Yeah. If you want one, you'll have to pay for it out of your allowance.

BART
All right!

MARGE
Homer!

HOMER
Yello

VOICE
Marge, please.

HOMER
Who's this?

VOICE
May I please speak to Marge?

HOMER
This is her sister, isn't it?

PATTY
Is Marge there?

HOMER
Who shall I say is calling?

PATTY
Marge, please.

HOMER
It's your sister.

MARGE
Oh! Hello.

PATTY
Hello, Marge. It's Patty. Selma and I couldn't be more excited about seeing our sister Christmas Eve.

MARGE
Well, Homer and I are looking forward to your visit too. Somehow I doubt that Homer is excited. of all the men you could've married, I don't know why you picked one who's always so rude to us.

BART
Good one, Dad.

HOMER
Okay, kids, prepare to be dazzled. Marge, turn on the juice!
What do you think, kids?

LISA
Nice try, Dad.

FLANDERS
Just hold your horses, son. Hey, Simpson!

HOMER
What is it, Flanders?

FLANDERS
Do you think this looks okay?

BART
Oh!

LISA
Oh, neato!

HOMER
It's too bright.

HOMER
I oughta-- Flanders. What a big show-off.

MARGE
Kids, wanna go Christmas shopping?

BART/LISA
I do!

MARGE
All right! The mall! Go get your money.

HOMER
Tell us, Marge. Where have you been hiding the Christmas money?

MARGE
Oh, I have my secrets.
Turn around. you can look now.

HOMER
Ooh! Big jar this year.

MARGE
Oh, Bart, that's so sweet. It's the best present a mother could get, and it makes you look so dangerous.

BART
One "Mother," please.

TATTOO GUY
Wait a minute. How old are you?

BART
Twenty-one, sir.

TATTOO GUY
Get in the chair.

HOMER
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

SMITHERS (SPEAKER)
Attention, all personnel, please keep working during the following announcement. And now our boss and friend Mr. Burns.

MR.BURNS
Hello. I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant without increasing the cost to the consumer or affecting management pay raises. However, for you semiskilled workers, there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing. Merry Christmas!

HOMER
Oh, thank God for the big jar.

MARGE
Where's that Bart?

BART
But, Mom, I thought you'd like it.

DR.ZITOFSKY
Yes, Mrs. Simpson, we can remove your son's tattoo. It's a simple routine involving lasers.

BART
Cool!

DR.ZITOFSKY
However, it is rather expensive, and we must insist on a cash payment up front.

MARGE
Cash?

DR.ZITOFSKY
Mm-hmm.

MARGE
Thank God for Homer's Christmas bonus.

BART
Ay, caramba!

DR.ZITOFSKY
Now, whatever you do, don't squirm. You don't wanna get this sucker near your eye or your groin.

BART
Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it. Ow! Quit it.

HOMER
Hey, what's with this?

BART
Ow! Quit it! Used to be a real boss tattoo.

LISA
Mom had to spend the Christmas money having it surgically removed.

HOMER
Huh? It's true! The jar is empty! Oh, my God!
We're ruined. Christmas is canceled. No presents for anyone!

MARGE
Don't worry, Homer. We'll just have to stretch your Christmas bonus even further this year. Homer?

HOMER
Oh, yeah. My Christmas bonus. How silly of me. This'll be the best Christmas yet. The best any family ever had.

FLENDERS’S HOUSE ROOF DOOL
Hohoho. Hohoho. Hohoho. Hohoho. Hohoho.

MARGE
Hmm. I get the feeling there's something you haven't told me, Homer.

HOMER
Huh? Oh. I love you, Marge.

MARGE
you tell me that all the time.

HOMER
Oh, good, because I do love you. I don't deserve you as much as a guy with a fat wallet and a credit card that won't set off that horrible beeping.

MARGE
I think it does have something to do with your Christmas bonus. I keep asking for it, but—

HOMER
Marge, um, let me be honest with you.

MARGE
Yes?

HOMER
Well, I would--
I-- I wanna do the Christmas shopping this year.

MARGE
Uh, sure, okay.

HOMER
Marge, Marge. Hmm. Let's see.
Ooh, look! Pantyhose. Practical and alluring. A six-pack. Oh! Only 4.99.
Ooh! Pads of paper. I bet Bart can think of a million things to do with these.
That just leaves little Maggie. Oh, look! A little squeak toy. It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.

FLANDERS
Ow! Oh, Simpson, it's you.

HOMER
Hello, Flanders.

FLANDERS
Oh, my! What a mess we've got here.
Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine?

HOMER
Well, let's see.

FLANDERS
Oh, this one's mine. This one's mine. This one's mine, and this—

HOMER
They're all yours!

TODD FLANDERS
Hey, you dropped your pork chop.

HOMER
Gimme that!

FLANDERS
Well, happy holidays, Simpson.

TODD FLANDERS
Gee, this is the best Christmas ever.

FLANDERS
You bet.

MOE
What's the matter, Homer? Somebody leave a lump of coal in your stocking? You've been sitting there, sucking on a beer all day long.

HOMER
So?

MOE
So, it's Christmas.

HOMER
Thanks, Moe.

BARNEY
Drinks all around!

HOMER
What's with the crazy getup, Barn?

BARNEY
I got me a part-timejob working as a Santa down at the mall.

HOMER
Wow! Can I do that?

BARNEY
I don't know. They're pretty selective.

SANTA CLAUSE MANAGER
Do you like children?

HOMER
What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts?

SANTA CLAUSE MANAGER
Hmm.

HOMER
Uh, I certainly do.

SANTA CLAUSE MANAGER
Welcome aboard, Simpson. Pending your successful completion of our training program, that is.

STUDENTS OF SANTA CLAUSE CLASS
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
What is it now, Simpson?

HOMER
Uh, when do we get paid?

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
Not a dime till Christmas Eve! Now, from the top.

STUDENTS OF SANTA CLAUSE CLASS
Ho ho ho. Ho ho ho.

HOMER
Um, Dasher.Dancer.

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
Mm-hmm.

HOMER
Prancer.

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
Mm-hmm.

HOMER
Nixon.Comet and... Cupid.
Donna Dixon?

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
Sit down, Simpson.

HOMER
And what would you like, little boy?

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
You're not really Santa, tubby.

HOMER
Why, you little egghead!

SANTA CLAUSE CLASS TEACHER
No, Homer! If such an emergency arises, you just tell them Santa's very busy this time of year,  and you are one of his helpers.

HOMER
Oh, I knew that one too!

MARGE
Homer, why are you seven hours late?

HOMER
Not a word, Marge. I'm heading straight for the tub.

MARGE
But, Homer, my sisters are here. Don't you wanna say hello?

BART/LISA
Daddy! We're so glad to see you! - Oh, Dad, you're finally home!

HOMER
What? Why? Oh, yeah. Hello, Patty. Hello, Selma.
How was your trip?

SELMA
Fine.

HOMER
you both look well.

PATTY
Thank you.

HOMER
Yeah, well, Merry Christmas.

PATTY
It's Christmas?

SELMA
you wouldn't know it around here.

HOMER
And why is that?

SELMA
For one thing, there's no tree

HOMER
I was just on my way out to get one!

BART/LISA
Can we go too, Dad? Yeah, can we?

HOMER
No!

SINGER (RADIO)
Sleighbells ring
Are you listening
In the lane
Snow is glistening
A beautiful sight
We're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland

RANGER
Hey! What do you think you're doin'?

HOMER
- Uh-oh.

RANGER
Hey! Hey! Come back here!

HOMER
So what do you think, kids? Beauty, isn't it?

BART/LISA
Wow! Yay, Dad! - Way to go, Dad!

SELMA
Why is there a birdhouse in it?

HOMER
Uh, that's an ornament.

PATTY
Do I smell gunpowder?

KID #1
and then I want some Robotoids.
And then I want a Goop Monster.
And then I want a great big, giant—

HOMER
Aw, son, you don't need all that junk. I'm sure you've already got something much more important a decent home and a loving father who would do anything for you. Hey, I couldn't afford lunch. Give me a bite of that donut.

MILHOUSE
Get a load of that quote-unquote Santa.

LEWIS
I can't believe those kids are falling for it.

BART
Hey, Milhouse, I dare you to sit on his lap.

MILHOUSE
I dare you to yank his beard off.

BART
Ah, touche.

KID #2
I hope you feel better, Santa.

HOMER
Oh, I will when Mrs. Claus' sisters get outta town.
Thanks for listenin', kid.

BART
Hey, Santa, what's shakin', man?

HOMER
What's your name, Bart... ner? Uh, little partner?

BART
I'm Bart Simpson. Who are you?

HOMER
I'm jolly Old St. Nick.

BART
Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.

HOMER
D'oh!

BART
Homer!

HOMER
A word with you in Santa's workshop.
Cover for me, Elfie.

BART
I didn't know it was you.

HOMER
Nobody knows. It's a secret. I didn't get my bonus this year. But to keep the family from missing out on Christmas, I'd do anything.

BART
I'll say, Dad. you must really love us to sink so low.

HOMER
Now, let's not get mushy, son. I still have a job to do. Hey, little ones. Santa's back. Ho ho-- D'oh! Damn it to—

HOMER
Ah, son, one day you're gonna know the satisfaction of payday. Receiving a big fat check for a job well done.

CASHER
Simpson, Homer? Here ya go.

HOMER
Come on, son. Let's go cash this baby and get presents for-- Thirteen bucks? Hey, wait a minute.

CASHER
That's right. $120 gross. Less Social Security, less unemployment insurance, less Santa training...

HOMER
Santa training?

CASHER
less costume purchase, less beard rental, less Christmas club.

HOMER
- But-- But—

CASHER
See ya next year.

HOMER
Ohh!

BART
Come on, Dad. Let's go home.

HOMER
Thirteen bucks? you can't get anything for 13 bucks.

BARNEY
Allright! Thirteen bigones! Springfield Downs, here I come!

HOMER
What?

BARNEY
you heard me. I'm goin' to the dog track. I got a hot little puppy in the fourth race. Wanna come?

HOMER
Sory, Barney. I may be a total washout as a father, but I'm not gonna take my kid to a sleazy dog track on Christmas Eve.

BARNEY
Come on, Simpson. The dog's name is Whirlwind. Ten-to-one shot. Money in the bank.

HOMER
Uh-uh.

BART
Ah, come on, Dad. This can be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything,
it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs and it's gonna happen to us.

HOMER
Well, okay, let's go. Who's Tiny Tim?

TV
Hey, Moldy, do you think Santa will be able to find...
ElfCounty under all this snow?
I doubt it, Bubbles. We'll be sad little elves this Christmas.

LISA
Oh, no!

ABE
Oh, brother.

SELMA
Where's your husband?

PATTY
Yeah. It's getting late.

MARGE
Said he went caroling with Bart.

BART/BARNEY
We're in the money, we're in the money. We got a lot of what it takes to get along

HOMER
I can't believe I'm doing this.

KID
Can we open our presents now, Dad?

DAD OF KID
you know the tradition, son. Not till the eighth race.

HOMER
Hey, Barney, which one is Whirlwind?

BARNEY
Number Six. That's our lucky dog right over there. He's won his last five races.

HOMER
What? That scrawny little bag of bones?

BART
Come on, Dad. They're all scrawny little bags of bones.

HOMER
Yeah, you're right. I guess Whirlwind is our only hope for a Merry Christmas.

ANNOUNCER
Attention, racing fans, we have a late scratch in the fourth race.
Number 8, Sir Galahad will be replaced by Santa's Little Helper.
Once again, Sir Galahad has been replaced by Santa's Little Helper.

HOMER
Bart, did you hear that? What a name! Santa's Little Helper! It's a sign! It's an omen! –

BART
It's a coincidence, Dad.

HOMER
What are the odds on Santa's Little Helper?

CLERK
Ninety-nine to one.

HOMER
Wow! Ninety-nine times thirteen equals... Merry Christmas!

BART
I got a bad feeling about this.

HOMER
Don't you believe in me, son? –

BART
Uh—

HOMER
Come on, boy. Sometimes your faith is all that keeps me going.

BART
Oh, go for it, Dad.

HOMER
That's my boy! Eveything on Santa's Little Helper.

TV
Three cheers for Brainy!

LISA
Hip hip hooray! - Yay!

ABE
Unadulterated pap.

PATTY
It's almost 9:00.

SELMA
Where's Homer anyway?

PATTY
It's so typical of the big doof us to spoil it all.

LISA
What, Aunt Patty?

PATTY
Oh, nothing, dear.
I'm just trashing your father.

LISA
Well, I wish you wouldn't because aside from the fact he has the same frailties as all human belings. he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I'm far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.

PATTY
Mm-hmm. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.

HOMER
Come on, Bart. Kiss the ticket for good luck, not that we need it.

ANNOUNCER
Here comes Screwy the mechanical rabbit.
and they're off!
Come on, Santa's Little Helper! –

HOMER/BART
Come on, dog! Go, man, go!

ANNOUNCER
It's Whirlwind in the lane, and coming up on the left is Quadruped, followed by Dog O'War and Fido.

BART
Go! Come on, boy! - Go! Come on, get that rabbit!

ANNOUNCER
Dog O'War coming up fast on the outside.

HOMER/BART
Come on, Santa's Little Helper! - Come on, dog! Go, man, go!

ANNOUNCER
And with a lock on last place, it's Santa's Little Helper.

BART
Don't worry, Dad. Maybe this is just for suspense before the miracle happens.

HOMER/BART
Come on, you stupid dog! Come on! Go, go! Run! Run! Run, run! Come on, get that rabbit! Go, go, Santa's Little Helper! Run! Go, go, go!

ANNOUNCER
Whirlwind by a countrymile, second, ChewMyShoe, followed by Dog O'War.

HOMER
Oh, jeez!

BART
Doesn't seem possible, but I guess TV has betrayed me.

HOMER
I don't wanna leave till our dog finishes. Ah, forget it. Let's go.

HOMER
Find any winners, son?

BART
Sorry, Dad.

BARNEY
Hey, hey, Simpson! What'dl tell you? Whirlwind! Let's go, Daria.

OWNER OF SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
Beat it! Scram! Get lost! you came in last for the last time!

BART
Look, Dad, it's Santa's Little Helper.

OWNER OF SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER
And don't come back!

HOMER
Oh, no, you don't! No, no! Get away from me! Uh-uh!

BART
Oh, can we keep him, Dad, please?

HOMER
But he's a loser! He's pathetic! He's--
A Simpson.

MARGE
Hmm. Maybe I should call the police.

SELMA
Oh, he'll sober up.

PATTY
Yeah. Come staggering home.
Mm-hmm. Smelling of cheap perfume.

MARGE
Homer!

ABE
What? What the-- Who the—

HOMER
Look, eveybody, I have a confession to make.

PATTY
This should be good.

HOMER
I didn't get my Christmas bonus. I tried not to let it ruin Christmas for eveybody, but no matter what I did—

BART
Hey, eveybody, lookwhat we got!

LISA
A dog! All right, Dad!

MARGE
God bless him. –

LISA
So love at first sight is possible.

BART
And if he runs away, he'll be easy to catch.

MARGE
Oh, this is the best gift of all, Homer!

HOMER
It is?

MARGE
Yes. Something to share our love and frighten prowlers.

LISA
What's his name?

HOMER
Number 8-- I mean, Santa's Little Helper.

SIMPSON FAMILY CHORUS
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer Had a very shiny nose And if you ever saw it - you would even say it glows - Like a light bulb! -Bart!
All of the other reindeer Used to laugh and call him names
Like Shnozzola! -Lisa!
They never let poor Rudolph Join in any reindeer games -Like strippoker!
I'm warning you two! Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say Take it, Homer!
Uh, Rudolph get your nose over here So you can guide my sleigh today Oh, Homer.
Then all the reindeer loved him and they shouted out with glee Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You'll go down in history -Like Attila the Hu-- - You little--

Shh.


 

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